The Idea...

At the beginning of each year I always find myself wondering what will happen over the next 12 months. I am never dissapointed in the "didn't see that coming" category!

I mean look at 2010:
On January 12th the earth shook in Haiti, as my world was shaken with the loss of my sweet Grandpa. I got to see the resiliance of a tiny island nation that was reduced to rubble and of my tiny Grandma who lost her lifelong companion. Both had to press forward and rebuild. I learned about the courage of a child who was diagnosed with Cancer but whose smile and bald little head are a reminder of why we should all strive to "become as little children".

There were loads of happy moments too. I got a new niece and nephew, both of whom are darling and love me the most (Neither of them can talk yet, but I can sense it). In June, a blind guy with no legs was unavailable to participate in the 180 mile Ragnar relay race with my family, so apparently I was the only option and they invited me to fill in. It was a blast! I also completed a triathalon and there were still people at the finsh line when I got done. (Yes they were taking down tables and looked surprised to see me...I think one of them started sympathy clapping to make it less awkward...but I finished!)

Cruz pretended to be potty trained for about 6 hours and that was REALLY exciting. Cache learned the words to a Lady Gaga song, the one that says GAGA OOH LALA (you are singing it to yourself now huh?) and some song that talks about an "eeny meeny miny mo lover"...and we started listending to Radio Disney! On occasion he still asks to hear the "popscicle song". Oh to be young and innocent!

Jared and I got to go on a litte getaway and we LOVED it. (I was reminded why I said YES, and then called it off and eventually said "I do".) We went to Washington DC and were there the week that the new Healthcare Reform bill was voted on and passed. We walked around and talked to supporters and protestors - SO cool to see our political system in action - and how crazy a mob of fiery tea party folk can be! I got all teary eyed at several of the monuments and museums - then Jared would pretend not to know me. It was bliss!

So many unexpected twists and turns in just 12 short months. I am sure this year will not dissapoint. However, at the end of 2011 there is one thing that is inevitable...I will be turning 30. There I said it!

It is not something I am necessarily excited for, but dreading it does not make it any more avoidable. So instead of wasting time mourning the looming loss of my 20's, I have decided to use what I have learned so far, and expand that limited knowledge to make myself a better person on the other side of 30 than I am now. At the end of this year I hope to be a better Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Neighbor, Employee, and Citizen.

That is where the idea for The Dirty Thirty Project was born. I want to chronicle my QUEST. I want to be accountable to myself and those around me to stick to this self improvement project. I feel a need to document successes, failures, breakthroughs, dissapointments, etc. If that sounds friggin boring to you...stop reading! It won't be The Hunger Games okay...

When I look back at who I was 10 years ago, I can't help but laugh at everything I thought I knew. (Those of you who know me, can attest to the fact that I tend to think I know more than I do) However, I know a lot more now then I did then.

In the last 9 years I have done some STUFF! I traveled halfway around the world to "save orphans" and ended up being taught many amazing lessons myself. It is sad and interesting that it took going to Africa to learn that I am incredibly blessed to live in the United States, to have clean water and food, to have a roof over my head and parents who love me unconditionally. I got married to a guy who still makes me laugh and had two incredibly amazing children, and in the process discovered that the human soul can hold more LOVE than I ever thought possible. I have marveled at my siblings (that alone takes a lot of time - I have lots of them). The struggles that they have overcome and the incredible people they are turning out to be. I am inspired by every single one of them. I have been part of an amazing family that has had their share of tough times. I have seen how anger and selfishness can tear relationships apart and how forgiveness and love can heal them. I have made new friends who have blessed and enriched my life and lost touch with old ones who I will never forget. I have bought 3 cars, moved 4 times, bought a house, bought a fish (and then accidentally caused its' demise) changed jobs 6 times, spent money I didn't have and learned that a credit card is not magic. I also spent countless hours obsessing over make-believe vampires (you knew I could not talk about the last decade without a Twilight reference).

I feel like that was a pretty full agenda for my 20's. I have loved so much about these times. However, like any other human on the planet...I have my share of regrets. I can't help but wish I had been more patient, more kind, stood up for others and myself more often. I wish I had taken better care of my body, my savings account and my car. I should have talked to God more and myself less. I should have been worrying about my relationship with my husband instead of whether Jake or Jason or Molly or Jillian would get a rose. I could have eased burdens and I didn't. I could have been a peacemaker and I was a gossip. I could have played a game with my kids and I turned on Nick Jr. I could have called to check on a friend and instead I just checked their facebook status. Not some of my prouder moments.

So here's to a New Year. I have 12 months-ish to set various goals for all different aspects of my life. I will in no way be perfect by the end of this. I know that. I just want to be the "new and improved" version of myself, a little stronger, a little wiser, a little kinder, a little better...

Here goes nothin!